Advice

When I was growing up I was always told to listen to the advice of my elders and peers, those that have experience. I really should have taking this on board more, especially where this my most recent journey is concerned.

So, I will share some of the advice I have been given, try and explain where and why I didn't hear.

The first piece of advice was that this would not be an easy path I was looking at. The word scary may have come up several times as well. As I wasn't at the time expecting my beliefs to be shaken to the very core of my being I had no idea what my friend meant when she said these things. I do now! The hardest part was my belief in my total self reliance and my own inner strength which had been with me since my early years. Realising that another existed, and accepting that He had been there all along was so hard. It was a horrible torment for my soul to endure, to been torn away from my old belief completely, but in the end I accepted Him into my life and heart without reservation. I have a feeling that the ease of this is likely to be related to your own sense of self, your own perceived strengths, and how long these have been in place. Mine had been built up over 40 years - that was a lot to give up, especially when it was not something I wanted to do at the time.

Then there was advice this might be crazy - that I could deal with. Often things I used to think of coincidences I looked at another way and started to appreciate that there may be some guiding hand in place, that somehow He was trying to send me some signs. From suddenly finding that a cycle ride past my local church, which included a horrible hill that I struggled with, became easy when I was thinking about God and stopping off to contemplate if He existed. At other times there have been real cliche moments that had me looking up to Him and saying (out loud I think) "Really!". These moments do really make smile when I look back on them.

Other advice was to remember the calm space where I landed when I first welcomed God into my heart. This is good advice I one bit I did listen to. It has been an invaluable shelter for my mind and sanity during trials and turbulent times.

To tell a loved one about my change in beliefs. This was quite scary and I was expecting a laugh and to be told I had gone mad. I have a friend who I think will recognize that feeling. But it turned out to be the best thing I could have done and I am so glad I followed this advice. The response I got was totally unexpected, and my partner has shown so much compassion, love and understanding whilst I have settled into my new beliefs. She has given me the space and time I need, cuddles and love when I have cried for the most unexpected reasons. She is willing to accommodate my changed beliefs despite not believing herself.

To stay calm and just stop and consider. This I did not listen too. Sorry about that my friend. I ran around with my brain trying to discover everything at once and blurting out whenever I found some new aspect of myself or the world of His that I now find myself in. When I wrote things down I left too much information in, it was jumbled and I made at least one horrible mistake that upset a friend. The situation was not helped by the pandemic lock-down as I had no-one I could talk to face to face when I could have really done with it, either a time-out lunch time walk or with someone new. I have finally calmed down and settled with new thoughts, and I place my trust in God and the teachings of Jesus to guide me more than I would have ever thought was possible.

To find a church that suits me. I think I have found a local group of Churches, and have had a briefly introduced myself to the vicar, and once circumstances permit I will be having a meeting with them before I attend and join the congregation properly. It may not be where I finally settle, but it is all that can be done for now I will have to be patient. One it is allowed I will be heading off on some Sunday mornings to service and I am looking forward to that day.

So, if you are on a similar journey to mine, listen to the advice you are given, especially if you have a friend like mine. It may seem strange, or the warnings may seem unnecessary, but do take heed as things will catch you unawares.

Take care and go in peace.